Funny Brew - How to be a dick - Working Well With Others - Bad Advice

What seems to be a lost art at FunnyBrew is making an appearance today. It's the how to be a dick advice column. A couple things happened at work, that provoked some sincere assholish thoughts.

1. If someone is telling you about how a friend got shitcanned, just smile thinking (it helps if you say it out loud) "I never liked that guy anyway."

2. Make a lot of "That's what she said" Jokes. This might not make you a dick, but it will certainly make you annoying. So, when your friend says "Yeah it's just nice to see Telfair getting to the hole that quickly. The finishing will come later" Don't hold back, just let your inner Steve Carrell fly.

3. Politics, remember it's the truth, everybody is an asshole, but, get creative. You actually like Barack Obama's political views... He's just so goddamned black.

4. Fuck, this one came so naturally... I'm an asshole... When a passerby whom you barely know says "Tsup?" and you give the natural "How's it going?" and they actually have something to say just don't care what follows. No one gives a shit about your ex-wife, or finding your lost baby... stop fucking crying, your an adult male for christ sake... I don't even know you.... Next week I hope an Aids infested monkey bites your grandma's tits off.

That pretty much sums this one up, I hope you're much less likable for reading it!