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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Haysoos Chreesto...

More than a week since my last post... My Butthole (from this point forward will be known as BH) is all sandy from going to the dentist... I mean, I get the whole teeth cleaning thing but I'm still a little confused about them tossing sand in my ass cheeks every time I go... it's supposedly helps with my molars... whatev.

Anyway, I thought I'd review a few sites that my BH pines for.

http://www.mp3va.com/ - It's not free, butt really, really, cheap music downloads... and a pretty good selection. 65/72 Virgins in heaven.

http://www.zml.com/ - Again not free,  butt I'd fuck it with or without a sandy BH. 65/72 Virgins in heaven. 

Tonight I stuffed Ms. Clause like a thanksgiving day turkey. Hey, How my dictate?

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Funny Brew Haiku & FWOD - My Dentist Story

So I went to the dentist the other day for the first time in like 5-6 years (fucking brilliant, I know) And they shoot me full of Novocaine so I can't feel 'em stick their dicks in my mouth... so they do the little cleaning thing etc... I leave and decide with my mouth still numb that I'm going to Subway to get me a sammich. I get home, plop my fatass on the couch and start enjoying my sammich... I get about two-thirds of the way through, and realize that they're are some little red splotches on my sandwich... I think... well that's kinda fucked up... what did they do to my teeth?! I finish eating my bloody sandwich, and start touching my lip... well there's just too much for this to be normal... I get up go look in the mirror... detective Don... on the scene... I guess eating when your mouth is numb isn't a good idea... as you might gnaw your own face off... my lip was bleeding like a mofo. I guess the moral of the story is don't chew when numb.


-Dentist Haiku-
Metal scraper thing,
most god awful sound maker,
torture in my mouth.

-Fwod-
Sammich - laziness at it's best... because it takes just a bit too much effort to say "sandwich" ...*insert ethnic humor here*

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

I check my dipstick...random shit

Every single person should use their dick as a dipstick once. (even chicks)

This is your homework assignment. Since you're probably reading this at work you lazy fuck. This sites traffic per-day is double during the week vs the weekend. Take that useless fact to the bank.

A vote for Ralph Nader probably means you're a fucking idiot. A vote for Mccain means you're probably a rascist... or like old saggy balls.

People should go to the dentist more

That's enough random shit for the day. 

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